Real Talk: The Realities of Leaving University

Your social life will change

This is probably the most obvious one, but it will also be the hardest to sit with. 

You won’t see your friends as often. They’ll move home. Move cities. They’ll start jobs with completely different schedules from yours, and this will change the whole dynamic of your life.

And the final few months before you graduate are really when you start to think about what's next: how you're going to cope not living ten steps away from your best friend or leaving the house at 11pm to go to big Tesco because… well, free will. No more last-minute plans, fewer weekends out. You’re working a 9-5 while your friend has to work weekends; another one's moved two hours away. 

Finding time to stay in contact with them and make plans that line up is really difficult. And that's no one's fault.

It sounds like a cliché, but visiting your friends every couple of months really does become something to look forward to. Remember, they're navigating this transition too - so lean on each other and check in regularly.

If you do have a graduate job lined up, this opens up a whole new opportunity to make friends and get back that social time you may be missing after you graduate.

Navigating living back with parents

After years of eating cereal at midnight and leaving dishes in the sink for three days because technically it was your sink, going back home is a culture shock nobody prepares you for.

I’m sure your parents are going to be so excited to have you back. But they also have a routine that predates you coming back, and suddenly, you're an adult living in their space again. There will be comments about what time you get in or how clean you’ve left your room. There will be questions about your plans that feel slightly like interrogations. There will be moments where you feel like a teenager again, when you're very much not.

Moving back in with your parents doesn’t mean you’ve failed, either. According to a recent study by the UCL Centre for Longitudinal Studies, 68% of 23-year-olds were living with their parents. It’s so much more normal than you think. Rent is expensive!

Use this time to find your feet again, save as much money as you can and reset. Have honest conversations with them about expectations; it makes everything easier. Find small ways to carve out your independence as well, even if it's just an evening walk on your own.

It’s NORMAL to not walk into your dream job

With the tough graduate market right now, you may be in a position where you don’t end up in your dream full-time job straight after university. This is so much more common than you think. 

In the meantime, you might take a part-time job, an internship, or do something completely unrelated to your studies. And that will feel like a lot - because you worked hard for that degree, and right now it doesn't feel like it's helped you yet.

Every single person around you who now has a career had a version of this period. Some are longer than others. Just keep applying, keep tailoring your CV, keep asking people for coffee chats about their role at a company you’re interested in working for. 

Use the time to network and upskill yourself. You could:

• Volunteer

• Work abroad

• Complete online courses

• Take a look at internships instead

You may feel unlucky how graduate life is going, but how you spend your time to better your current position is better than doing nothing at all! 

Just remember, this time between graduating and getting a full-time role is temporary, and it may teach you things the degree didn't.

Comparison hits harder

At uni, everyone's mostly in the same boat - stressed, broke, figuring it out. Then you graduate, and suddenly it feels like everyone got the memo except you. Someone's starting a grad scheme. Someone's moved to London. Someone's already posting LinkedIn updates about their "exciting new role." And you're sitting there refreshing your inbox in your childhood bedroom, wondering if you missed something. 

That comparison might be both work-related and within your social life, too. Instagram has a really good way of amplifying our FOMO, only showing you the best bits of someone's life. Just remember that and acknowledge when it's time to have a little social media detox. Everyone's story is different, and just know you're on the right path for YOU.

Getting back into structure

University had a great way of keeping our lives semi-structured - a lecture to get out of bed for, plans with friends, a shift at the local café. Every September felt like a fresh start, a huge milestone. When that goes, the freedom feels amazing for about two weeks. Then slowly, you may start to forget what day it is.

And that's okay - it happens to pretty much everyone. The good news is the fix is simpler than it feels.

Start with a morning routine, nothing groundbreaking, just something that gets you up and moving at a similar time each day. Make regular plans with home friends, even if it's just a walk or a coffee catch-up - having something to look forward to in the week makes a real difference. If there's a hobby you've been meaning to get back into, now's a great time: the gym, a sport, scrapbooking, even anything that gets you up and moving.

And if you're job hunting, try to set purposeful time aside for it rather than letting it take over your whole day or drift to the bottom of the to-do list - even an hour or two of focused applications each morning is enough to feel like you're moving forward.

So here's what we really want you to know - this lull period passes. Things click into place, gradually.

You're not behind. You're just getting started. And we’re rooting for you the whole way.