Feeling lonely at university? Here’s what you can do

Why you might feel lonely at university

If you’re experiencing loneliness, you’re not alone. According to a survey by the Higher Education Policy Institute, 70% of students asked said they felt lonely at least once a week.

Loneliness can happen at the most random times, even if you’re surrounded by people. You might feel lonely when:

• Everyone seems to have their friendship groups sorted, and you don't

• You’re in a completely new environment and far from home

• You doomscroll social media and feel like you're the only one struggling

• You're overwhelmed with uni work and lectures

• You're in a crowd but still feel disconnected.

It’s not just a feeling either. Sometimes loneliness can cause physical changes like feeling drained, not sleeping well or even getting headaches.

Understanding that loneliness can affect you in different ways will help you recognise what's going on and take steps to address it.

Here’s what doesn’t help

Getting out of feeling lonely is a process, and you’ll spend a lot of time finding ways to cope, some of which won’t be as useful as you might think. Here are some things to look out for:

Staying inside

Locking yourself away might seem like a great idea to shield yourself, but all it really does is alienate you even further. Even if it’s a walk or a trip to the campus library, getting outside for some fresh air can do you a lot of good.

Comparing yourself to others

It’s easy to fall into the social media trap of smiles and solid-looking friendship groups. Instagram and TikTok are often curated snapshots of life, rather than reality.

Forcing yourself to be social

RELAX. Going out when you’re not feeling your best will only make you feel worse. Find ways of going out that won’t leave you feeling emotionally exhausted at the end.

Expecting fast friendship

It’s easy to get excited about new friendships (which is actually okay, btw) and want to go all in, especially when you’ve been feeling lonely. Remember that lasting friendships take time to develop. It’ll be worth it.

How to tackle loneliness at university

Loneliness at uni is common, but it doesn’t have to stick around. It’s important to remember that these aren’t quick fixes; it takes time to build connections, but they’re great ways to start changing how you’re feeling. Not everything will work for everyone, so try what feels right for you.

Give it time

Finding friends and holding onto them are two different things. Friendships take time to build, and sometimes the people you meet in the beginning won’t be there at the end. That’s okay. If you’re someone who finds it hard to meet people or be in social situations, keep trying. Consistency sticks.

Join a society or club

Don’t like clubs or going to pubs? Joining a society is one of the most chill ways you can meet people. Plus, it’s a great excuse to bond with people over your niche interests and those who are similar to you. You haven’t missed any deadlines to join either; societies are open to new members all year round. Check out your student union for the types of clubs available.

Get comfortable with your own company

Learning to be comfortable alone isn’t about accepting loneliness. There’ll be loads of times during uni when you’ll be by yourself, and that’s normal. You can start by spending time doing things you enjoy solo, like reading a book, cooking, or just relaxing. Being okay with your own company doesn’t mean you don’t want connection, it’s just about being able to exist without constantly wanting to be around people.

Feeling homesick? Here's what you can do:

Move beyond small talk

Small talk is great in the beginning. But if you want to move from just acquaintances to actual friends, you have to find ways of moving beyond that. Instead of talking about the weather or when the next assignment is due, talk about how they’re finding uni overall. Remember, you’re not oversharing, you’re just building something deeper.

Looking for friends? Here's how:

Talk to someone about how you're feeling

Loneliness thrives when you keep it in, so speaking to someone you know can really make a difference. Whether it’s your family or someone you trust or even someone you’ve started getting close to, opening up and being honest will take the pressure off. Also, you never know, someone you talk to could be feeling the same way.

Talk to your university's support services

If loneliness is starting to affect your sleep, your university work or your ability to function in general, speak to your uni’s wellbeing or mental health team asap. You’re not being dramatic; that’s what they’re there for, and the quicker you let them know, the quicker they’ll be able to help.

Loneliness might happen a lot, but it won’t last forever. Building connections and feeling at ease takes time, and that’s normal. Be patient and kind to yourself, and try whatever feels right. Remember, loads of students are going through the same thing. When things become overwhelming, reach out. People will understand.